Monday, January 28, 2008

I'll say it: There Will Be Blood kinda sucked

It's been a long time since there has been a film as widely regarded as Paul Thomas Anderson's newest release, There Will Be Blood. Critics have gone apeshit over it, the masses seem to like it (for a winter-release art film, at any rate), and the Academy has besmirched the film with their smelly poo-stick of nominating goodness. Moreover, seemingly all of my friends, whose opinions I happen to regard rather more highly than the Academy's, seem to feel that this is a film Worth Seeing, a Tremendous film, perhaps even an Excellent one.

Before I start in on why I feel otherwise, I think it only fair that I make two points. The first is that I am not a fan of P.T. Anderson. I liked Boogie Nights - I mean, how could you not? It's a kickass movie about the porn industry in the 1970s (Though it's still too long and gets preachy at the end). But as for Magnolia and Punch Drunk Love, my one-word assessment is the same that I have for this new one: overrated.

The second point follows quite naturally - I readily concede that P.T. is a helluva skilled technical filmmaker. His composition, use of space, lighting - all superb. And he clearly knows how to get a good performance, though it doesn't hurt to start out with the kind of talent he usually gets. How hard was it to get Daniel Day-Lewis to act well? (Try getting what Steven Soderbergh got out of J-Lo in Out Of Sight.)

As an aside, I feel compelled to mention an exception to the P.T. Anderson-gets-good-actors rule: Adam Sandler's performance in Punch Drunk Love. People were going on and on about his fine performance, "Oh, wow, he can really act!" No. Adam Sandler does three things well on screen (I have no idea of and no interest in learning what he does well off screen): being childishly obnoxious and self-centered, throwing temper tantrums, and being endearing when his one-dimensional value system ends up somehow saving the day (possibly involving him learning some sort of lesson). This has led to a number of comedies that successfully (to varying degrees) exploit those traits. Those movies are comedies because, in a drama, it would be nigh impossible to make those the traits of a sympathetic character. Which is what happens in Punch Drunk Love, which is essentially the story of a person who is just like Adam Sandler's characters in all of his other movies, except that instead of being fabulously wealthy, or possessed of magical golfing abilities, or being the son of Satan, he's just a broke loser with no friends and terrible social skills. Notice how Adam Sandler hasn't made a drama (or a good comedy, for that matter) since. I think the only hope for his career is for someone to realize that he is essentially not a likeable character, and to cast him in small roles that warrant someone the audience should have an easy time disliking. Like Kevin Costner in 3000 Miles to Graceland, or Elijah Wood in Sin City. Aside end.

A man and his son go off in search of a film with better-developed characters and more interesting subtext.

Back to the Blood movie. I've acknowledged that it's a well-shot, well-acted movie. And for the first 45 minutes or so (total running time: 158 minutes), I was pretty into it. It seemed to be about a man doing his thing in the early, Manifest Destiny days of the American Industrial Revolution. Perhaps something tricky was going on - good. What truths about our culture and human nature will be revealed? And then, some kid shows up to betray his family's trust and get rich quick. Our hero goes and buys the land, give the town the old Lyle Lanley routine, and then the movie takes a nosedive from which it never recovers. In fact, after this point, every single thing in the movie is exactly the same as P.T. Anderson's other movies. We have mean, uncaring fathers, overblown tragedies, melodramatic religious demagogues, awkward non-reconciliation reconciliations, and, of course, spiraling descents into madness.

Incidentally, lots of interesting things about fathers and sons - a topic that male artists will never grow tired of - could have been said, following the admittedly pretty cool but way too long scene where the son loses his hearing. But then the dad simply goes crazy and ceases to be an interesting character.

If all that wasn't enough, we're treated with a final act that felt like the mid-90s Cinemax remake of Citizen Kane. It's years later, and we find our Old Oil Tycoon alone in his big mansion, faced only with the miserable wreckage of his wasted life. First, he disowns his son in the most awkward and nonsensical scene ever. Then he gets a visit from his old friend/nemesis the Emo Preacher, who is magically still 25 years old, and the audience gets bludgeoned with some overacted and underwritten turnabout, followed by the preacher getting bludgeoned with the Bowling Pin of Ironic Justice.

In the end, this movie has the same problem as Magnolia - it never feels like it comes together. Also like Magnolia, it has a number of scenes that are individually interesting, but don't effectively serve the film as a larger unit. If there is anything profound to take away from There Will Be Blood, maybe it's this: The world is full of all sorts of people, so if you're one of the nice ones, watch out for mean people, stupid people, and crazy people. And also, fathers can be a bitch, so, you know, keep that in mind too.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I'm your huckleberry

In keeping with my politics-is-like-sports-only-better sensibilities, I've decided to start betting on the races. It's on!

Traveler - what a bizarre blog

Apparently, this blog that translated my posting into German is some bizarre thing that takes (seemingly) random blog postings and posts a new one - in German - every day. Maybe that's the "traveler" part - a random journey through the intertubes. For some reason it reminds me of (biologist) J.B.S. Haldane's semi-famous quote:

"I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose."

Friday, January 18, 2008

Square Off and Share in German!!

The internet is so incredibly bizarre. Don't ask me how, but I found an entry of this very blog re-posted in German elsewhere on the tubes. It's one from October where I talked about Garfield - and is incidentally the number one entry that gets viewed by random internet surfers from around the world when they are apparently using GIS to procrastinate. Here it is in the "original" Deutsch. I then went and translated it using babelfish (not perfect, but hey, it's a free site that will translate an entire webpage in a second, so, ya know, don't complain). I recommend comparing this to the original, but either way translating back and forth is funny:

Like that edge magazine was kind of a laundry - I was unbegeistert by their enterprise. Therefore provisionally at least none works superhip freelance culture letter, at least the kind, which pays, for me. Somebody wishing to pay me is however pushed to thus make at its earliest comfort.

In other messages brauste I by some old InterNet bookmarks of mine, and is gestolpert on some changes to some old Garfield caricatures, which were made by an unknown Alleingaenger of the world of art. I give freely that, as a boy, I have loved reading Garfield too. Perhaps it was its extreme predictability, and its lighter, uncomplicated cynicism. The putrid step of Garfield, which Odie pushes again and again starting from that table, could have been a comfort under the chaos of mine ************ changing world. Return to it as older and wiser me, if I am forced to admit although over some going from the older strips still, can do me smile make, Garfield is a rather stupid Komiker. Each sub-committee is often nearly identical, and the letter, which Jim Davis still vorgeblich makes (was pawned starting from design obligations nearly, since that very much beginning) seems usual, how it took a minimum degree of the thought. Notice also the heavy difference between the original designs of Jim Davis and that, which derjenig made, since it began agricultureit.

Anyway I do not know, who made these, but they have me laugh made really hard, when I saw first them, and I do not know why really. I will set up only all to them, but if you asked yourselves, I received her here.
I don't know who went and translated me into German, but you have my blessing. Spread the Good News, my child.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Metermaids

I just want to take a second and reiterate how awesome I think Metermaids are. I first met Sean (aka Swell) a couple of years ago through a mutual friend or two, and first saw them at a show at the now sadly defunct Sin*e in the Lower East Side, where I had gone to see my friend Adam (aka Domer) perform. I thought they were good, and I was especially into the fact that he traded me a copy of his shiny, sleek, and excellently produced EP for a marginally-nicer-than-homemade copy of the Household Songs. The EP is four songs, every one of which is fantastic.

I got to check out Metermaids last spring at the Viper Room in LA, again with Domer, and they're new stuff sounds even better. I can't wait till they drop a full-length album.

I also think that I have an added affinity for the EP now that I've moved from New York out to sleepy NorCal. All it takes is a listen to "Back and Forth" and my mind is drunkenly wandering around the East Village at night, torn between another drink at the Cherry Tavern and a tasty Crif Dog tsunami. Mmmm. I am so hungry right now.

He's gonna need that stick.

Ugh. I'm doing a very tedious project for the publishers, and am not getting out-of-doors enough. I was very excited because this academic quarter I only have classes on tuesdays and thursdays, but that has just been leading me to waste the early part of the day on other days and then have a bunch of crap to do at night when I just want to chill out.

On the other hand, elephant seals are awesome!!

In other good news, I should start hanging out at the Monkey Center very soon. Which I'm pretty excited about. Monkeys are neat.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Comics, KFC, Wal*Mart, and Science!

Hey kids! It's time for another installment of Paul spews out a bunch of crap he sort of has on his mind! Yay!!!!!!
First, I found a sweet new webcomic to procrastinate with. It's called Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. Check it out.

Second, for you fans of Patton Oswalt, he's finally taken the plunge and tried one of KFC's "Famous Bowls." Courtesy of the Onion A.V. Club, it can be found here. I could comment further on this, but, well I'm not gonna.

However, this reminds me, I've been meaning to get myself a coffee machine, and the other day I was in one of the many disgusting Strip Mall Extravaganza that dot our American landscape (to buy a poster frame, in case you were curious), and I thought, "Hey, they sell coffee machines over at the Wal*Mart! I'll just go over and... Gah!" I literally went over, walked in, got about four steps, and walked right back out. That place is like the incarnation of everything awful about America. Here's a TED Talk I liked, ragging on suburban sprawl and strip malls.

Which reminds me of something else. Last week I went to the Exploratorium in San Francisco. If you're in the Bay Area, I highly recommend this place. It's a big-ass hands on science museum. It was reminiscent of the Queens Hall of Science back in New York, except that I have no idea what that place is like now, since I haven't been there since I was probably 12 or so. Anyway, the Exploratorium is enormous, and they have exhibits showing lots of neat phenomena, involving physics, biology, psychology, and acoustics. I also went to the Tactile Dome. This is basically a thing that is totally pitch dark, and you crawl and walk through it. There are ladders and slides, and lots of things to touch on the walls and ceiling. My only complaint was that it was a little small - it takes about 5 to 10 minutes to go through the whole thing. I think it would be really cool to do one that took like a half an hour. One guy went in with his girlfriend, and 10 seconds later the guy comes back out, sweating, and was like "No way I'm doing that." But for you non-claustrophics, why not pay the extra 3 bucks and do something novel.

What reminded me of that trip was this thing where they had a bunch of different gas lights shining through a prism (physics people may recall this as a spectrometer). The deal is that light produced by exciting different gases - like sodium, helium, etc. - produce different combinations of wavelengths of light. By reverse analyzing these patterns, astronomers, for example, can tell what elements are burning in a star.
In addition to all the various gas lights, they had a normal incandescent light and a normal fluorescent light. They both produced all the colors of the rainbow when shone through a prism, but here's the difference: the incandescent light showed a smooth transition between all the different colors, including all the in-between colors at equal brightness. The fluorescent light was different. There seemed to be small gaps, and some of the colors had streaks that were much brighter than the rest of the light. This probably explains why things appear to be the same color but look somehow different and crappier under fluorescent lighting. Here some people at Carnegie Mellon show you how to build a spectrometer out of a CD, a cereal box, and some duct tape.

This is incandescent light.

And this is fluorescent light.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I Love New York

The headline says it all. Thanks to Cris for making me read it.

Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests

Monday, January 7, 2008

It's the playoffs!

A bit unexpectedly, I find myself completely enthralled by the race for the Presidency now that the primaries have begun. I have never been much of a sports fan, but I do enjoy watching the championships. This applies to a variety of sports - baseball, basketball, and hockey in particular, not to mention my love of World Cup Soccer. I couldn't care less during the regular season, but once every game counts big toward deciding who makes it to the Big Match, I can't turn away. And for nothing is this as true as a Presidential election.

I suppose it's also partly that after 8 years of George W. Bush, I can't wait for something new. I'm also happy that it looks very likely that we'll have a Democrat in the White House, and that Democrat is guaranteed to NOT be John Kerry. But on a more general level, I can't help feeling the sentiment of Hunter S. Thompson, for whom politics was so much like sports that for the last few years of his life he had a regular column at ESPN.com where he wrote about politics and sports in the sense that politics was merely another kind of sport. Here's an excerpt from one of those columns, collected in the book of the same name, Hey Rube. You can find the whole column here.

Let's face it: The only true Blood-Sport in this country is high-end Politics. You can dabble in Sports or the Stock Markets, but when you start lusting after the White House, The Joke is Over. These are the real Gamblers, & there is nothing they won't do to win.

Nothing involving jock straps or sports bras will ever come close to it for drama, violence, savagery & over-weaning lust for the spoils of victory. ... The Presidency of the United States is the richest & most powerful prize in the history of the World. The difference between winning the Super Bowl & winning the White House is the difference between a Goldfish & a vault full of Gold bars.

...

Rude people will now & then ask me why I think I know so much about Politics. I tell them it's because I'm Smart. ... But that is a lie: The real reason is because I'm an incurable Gambling addict.
My money's on Obama and Huckabee to take the division championships, with Obama pulling a narrow win for the Cup. But the game has yet to be played in Southern arenas, where the climate may have a strong effect on the Players' footwork. I expect Edwards, Clinton, McCain, and Romney to all put in fine performances in their respective leagues, and the truth, of course, is this is still anybody's game.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy New Year!

I got nothin'. Happy new year, everybody.